John Donne, the poet, said that no man is an island unto himself.

We are all part of networks of relationships and communities. Many of the rituals of life are communal activities: being named or christened, getting married, retiring, dying with funeral services and so on. The way we live, die and are supported is often a reflection of the community we live in.

A community needs nurturing and if it is not it will die and there will be nobody to mourn for it – the neighbourhood becomes an emotional and caring desert. A good community offers help but so often relies on volunteers to provide it. We need to be put as much into the volunteering pot as is taken out – it is incumbent on us all to invest in volunteering.

The Chilterns is fortunate that a lot of community help is available and easily accessible. If you have a need, then the organisations below may well be able to help. Again, be prepared! Anticipate, listen to others, know what is available before there is a crisis – it is so much easier.

Your GP or specialist nurse may be able to guide and help in making your end of life decisions. It is vital that they know your wishes particularly with regard to what you want done medically. They will have the necessary forms for you to fill in and once filled can annotate your medical records which can be available for hospitals should you be admitted. Some practices have dedicated staff who can advise and help frail older people or those with cancer. They can also guide you to where you can get help with counselling and bereavement if needed.

As part of their pastoral care many churches and faith groups have a supportive network of volunteers to care for those who are lonely, frail or dying. This support may be very practical, providing meals, visiting or phoning to cope with loneliness as well as giving spiritual care. It is well worth knowing what is available and make yourself known to them.

Voices and Choices is a national organisation with a local branch based in Chesham that helps people stay in their own homes by advising, supporting and working with partner agencies to provide the practical help. They can help as advocates when seeking help from others. Their website and newsletter have a lot of useful information.

Email ros@voicesandchoices.org.uk or 01494 784566

There is a branch of the CAB in Chesham.  The local Citizens Advice Buckinghamshire website gives details of the various ways to contact them.  They give wide ranging advice on benefits, housing, healthcare, personal rights and more and if they are not able to they will know someone who can.

Citizens’ Advice Bucks website

Tel: 0808 278 7938

Age UK is a national organisation with a branch in Aylesbury that covers the whole of Buckinghamshire. It also provides advice on benefits and where to seek practical help, help to live independently with, for example, exercise classes and, importantly, a befriending service to help combat loneliness.

Age UK website

Tel: 0800 678 1602

Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care provides hospice care at home in Buckinghamshire and part of neighbouring Hertfordshire as well as a host of ancillary services. They have a palliative care day hospital for patients as well. You have to be referred by your GP to access the services but once a patient they provide a 24hr service if required so that you can remain at home if that is your wish.
Being a charity they rely heavily on donations and local funding.

Rennie Grove Peace Hospice website

Buckinghamshire Council provide a range of services to help people live as independently as possible for as long as possible.  These can be found on their website

They also provide pages on registering a death.

Dial a Ride has a Chiltern base in Chesham. It provide free door to door services for those with disabilities or who are unable to use public transport services. The service has to be booked by telephone.

Tel: 01494 766123

CarersBucks is a local organisation whose prime purpose is to support the carers, of whatever age, to help reduce stress and burnout. This way the carers can continue to do the caring if possible which is so often their wish. They provide advice, help with care planning and with carers’ rights amongst other things and where else they can get help. Talking to other people in the same situation is helpful and they can provide mutual support. They can help broker understanding with the person they care for and other professionals.

See CarersBucks website 

Email BucksCarers or phone 0300 777 2722

The Alzheimer’s Society is a vital source of support for everyone affected by dementia, providing advice, guidance and support from the moment someone is worried about memory loss.  See their website for more information about the Online Carer Support Group in Aylesbury, or call 01296 718956.

Cruse is a national bereavement organisation with local branches. There is a branch for Amersham and Beaconsfield. They will provide help with complicated bereavement and counselling. They provide good training for those who are chosen to volunteer. They have a help line which can be used for urgent help. Their website has useful advice and stories.

Email Bucks Cruse

Tel: 01494 766455

Helpline: 0808 808 1677

Cruse website

My Grief Journey is a 6 week course designed for anyone who has lost someone close to them through death.  Based on Christian principles, the course is suitable for anyone with or without a Christian faith.  The Course is led by Judith and Neil Suggett.  For more information please email bereavement@kca.church or call 01494 431882.

Ageing Well Without Children (AWWOC) is a Prama Foundation project focussing on the issues facing those ageing without children, whether by choice or through circumstance.  See their website 

Local pharmacies will have trained staff who can help with providing and delivering your prescriptions if you are not able to get to them. They may well have the Lions Green Bottle.

They have also been trained to advise on minor ailments and save an unnecessary visit to your GP’s surgery. It is wise to find out the services they provide and if required use them.